There’s been much in the news about domestic abuse after several well publicized cases of late. In a recent edition of “The Week” magazine, a piece on the subject quotes a women who waited 4 years to leave her abusive relationship (her husband was a wall street trader), “I confused pity for love and thought I could save him from his demons.” I share this statement here for all those of us who ever have been, are now, or may one day find themselves in an abusive relationship. And remember that physical violence is not the only type of abuse. There are much more “subtle” forms including criticism, insults, disrespect, disregard, emotional abandonment, blame, controlling behavior and pathological jealousy and mistrust. We are made to feel worthless, somehow solely responsible for the problems in the relationship, and that no one else could ever love us. Although I never experienced physical abuse, I have dated men (years back) that made me feel less than I am. In hindsight I think they did that because they themselves felt so inadequate…and had their own demons. They all had to eventually work out their own “stuff”…or not…but without me. Because this girl finally realized one day that she–and she alone–is responsible for her own self-worth and won’t ever let anyone take it from her again.
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